Coming out to my family

(Last Updated January 2016)

How did my parents react when I came out to them? How are they now?

In short, my parents responded very well. They have always done their best to support me and make sure I am getting what I need. Sure, there are falls and slips and fights, but in the grand scheme of things, they are unbelievably amazing parents.

In more detail: I was in residential treatment when I came out to my father. I had just attended a workshop that was about gender and the gender spectrum and I finally realized there was no way I could keep lying. So when he came to pick me up (he was in town visiting) I just sobbed into his chest, “Dad, I think I’m transgender…” He just hugged me and tried to comfort me. It was a bit of an intense night for both of us, but he handled it very well, just trying to remind me he loves me. When I came out to my mom she told me she loved me no matter what and that was it. We didn’t talk much about it in that moment. Surgery and hormones and altering my body made her incredibly nervous and uncomfortable. But as I made it clear top surgery was what I wanted, she shifted to support me. She has always done her best to love and care for me and letting go of who everyone thought I was is something I’ve been doing for years. I have done my best to give others that time, as well.

Has my process been difficult?

My process has been complicated, if anything. I haven’t talked much on social media about before I came out as trans* but I have a lot more of a story than just being transgender. I have been through a long journey recovering from an eating disorder among other things. But this isn’t about listing my problems and diagnosis, I’m just trying to say that it hasn’t always been clear and the path hasn’t always been visible. I was a very lost kid who didn’t understand why I spent my entire childhood being a boy but not really, and who focused intently on studies and swimming to distract from anything that came up in my mind. Anyways, my point is, my story is not simple, and it has not been easy, but with the support and love that I’ve been able to find and foster, it has been manageable.

I know I am young and I know I am so thankful for the parents I have and the people in my life. I am so grateful for how incredibly supportive and most of those around me have been.