BOUNDARIES

A lot of folks ask me how I take care of myself and balance all the things I do. The short answer is: Sometimes, I don’t.

This is hard work and this is heart work.

It is invigorating, life-giving, and heart-filling. And it is exhausting. The trolls, ignoramuses, and haters out there will take and take until there is nothing left if I do no have boundaries, which, for me, is all about self care.So here are my self-care check-in questions!

‍‍AM I SLEEPING ENOUGH?
‍Though ‘enough’ is always relative, I know that I need about 7-9 hours of sleep a night. If I’m consistently not getting an average of 8 hours, then I know I am not taking care of myself properly and it’s time to do a check-in.I’ve always struggled with sleep—and only when I first bought my own mattress after college did I realize how impactful getting the right mattress could be! That’s why I’m so thankful for Leesa Sleep – my partner and I got their hybrid mattress which is so comfortable. It is just the right firmness for us and is one of the ways I self-care. Visit this link and use my code: "Zzz_Pinkmantaray20" for 20% off on your own
AM I DOING MY HOBBIES?
‍When I’m feeling grounded and centered and taking good care of myself, I am usually also making time for things I enjoy doing such as playing the guitar a few times a week, journaling close to daily, spending meaningful time with my partner and loved ones, etc. If I’m not doing these things, it usually means I’m not self-caring well and I need to check in with myself!
AM I JOURNALING?
‍I usually journal close to daily. If I’m not doing this, it means I’m not intentionally checking in with myself and how I feel and should make time to do so!
AM I EATING SUFFICIENTLY?
‍Sometimes when I’m not maintaining my boundaries well (usually this is when I’ve said ‘yes’ to too many things and am way, way too busy) I forget to eat. When I noticed I’ve done that, in addition to making sure to eat, I also take it as a reminder to check in about how I’m doing and review my schedule. Are there things I can let go of? Do I need to prioritize better? Do I truly need to do everything on my to-do list today?
AMI TAKING DEEP BREATHS?
‍I know, this can sound dumb. But I mean it. On an hour-to-hour or even minute-to-minute basis, if I’m not maintaining my boundaries, I’m probably feeling frenetic, overstimulated, and anxious. For me, that anxiety sits in my chest and if I pay attention, I usually can notice that my breaths are shallow. I try to take pauses throughout the day to just take 1-5 deep breaths. This can be during meetings, during bathroom breaks, wherever.
AM I SPENDING A LOT OF TIME ON SOCIAL MEDIA?
‍When I spend too much time on Instagram, especially when I find myself replying to more than 1-3 hate comments in a week, it usually means I’m not maintaining my boundaries and I’m giving way too much energy to the haters. This is a time to remind myself that my energy is precious and while there is a 0.1% chance that I could have a productive conversation with a troll, the energy it’s going to cost me is not worth it, or could be better used elsewhere.