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An expansion on my trans terminology and suggestions post from a few days ago. This question comes in many forms: “Did you get the surgery?” or, “Are you ~completely~ transitioned?” or, “So did you… you know…??” with a not-so-subtle nod to my groin. But they are all the same question. And they should all be avoided unless that conversation is explicitly invited by the trans person! Swipe through the graphics for my thoughts & responses! Alt text available for each slide. Doctors & healthcare professionals, this applies to you, too! If my genitals are not directly & clearly related to my appointment, don’t ask about them! “Just being curious” is not enough of a reason. What I plan to do with my genitals is not relevant to you treating a rash on my leg. (True story. An urgent care doc actually asked me if I was going to get “the” surgery when I disclosed I was transgender. I just had a rash on my thigh.) — Shirt by @phenomenal

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A reminder, especially during Pride month, that language is incredibly important. Especially when talking about marginalized communities. Words used incorrectly can have harsh impact, even with the best of intent. Of course, language changes rapidly as we evolve, so it can be difficult to keep up. It’s okay to make mistakes. Apologize & make concerted efforts to learn the most respectful terminology. And always let the person with the identity lead. Swipe for some common mistakes/accidental micro-aggressions and my suggested corrections! Please note: These are my thoughts opinions drawn both from my own experience as a trans person and from listening to & learning from other trans folks around me! If you’re also trans and these don’t resonate for you, by all means, use what works for best for you ❤️ — #transgender #trans

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A lot of (cis) (male) (straight) people tell me I need a penis to be a man. They seem to care deeply about what is in my pants, especially about the fact I do not have a penis. And so I ask them: “Do you care how long your friends’ penises are?” Their answers are almost always of extreme discomfort. Something like, “No, ew, why would I even know that?! What the heck, man?” They fail to see that these are the same exact care. If you do not care about how long your friend’s penis is, you should not care that I do not have one. If you care how long your friend’s penis is, you should reevaluate your priorities. Regardless, a reminder— Men without penises are still MEN. Women with penises are still WOMEN. Note: There is nothing wrong with wanting or getting bottom surgery. Many folks feel like they need this to truly be themselves, and that is absolutely valid. I support you. I just don’t want it for myself. And I believe it imperative that we re-write the societal belief that all men have penises and that all women do not. A man does not have to have a penis, and not all folks with penises are men. — #transgender #trans #transathlete #transswimmer #iweigh

A post shared by Schuyler Bailar (he/him) (@pinkmantaray) on

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A reminder that language is incredibly important, especially when talking about marginalized folks. Words used incorrectly can have harsh impact, even with the best of intent. Of course, language changes rapidly as communities evolve, so it can be difficult to keep up! It’s okay to make mistakes. Apologize and then make concerted efforts to learn the most respectful terminology. Swipe for some common mistakes/accidental micro-aggressions and my suggested corrections! As always, note: These are my thoughts opinions drawn both from my own experience as a trans person and from listening to & learning from other trans folks around me! If you’re also trans and these don’t resonate for you, by all means, use what works for best you ❤️

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